Ashley Quotes Things – Alice in Tumblr-Land by Tim Manley

Hey everyone. Happy 4th!

Today I’m starting yet another new feature! I’ve been having so much fun with all these new ideas lately. I hope you’ve been enjoying them too.

In this feature, I’m going to share some of my favorite quotes from books I’ve loved. Hopefully, they’ll give you an idea if this is the type of book for you or not. Consider it a formal recommendation and an attempt at enticement.

Today I’m pulling some of my favorite entries from Alice in Tumblr-Land by Tim Manley.

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Synopsis Taken from Goodreads:

My Rating: 5/5 Stars

Disney meets Lena Dunham in this illustrated humor book featuring your favorite fairy-tale characters dating and finding their way in 21st-century America

The Ugly Duckling still feels gross compared to everyone else, but now she’s got Instagram, and there’s this one filter that makes her look awesome. Cinderella swaps her glass slippers for Crocs. The Tortoise and the Hare Facebook stalk each other. Goldilocks goes gluten free. And Peter Pan finally has to grow up and get a job, or at least start paying rent.

Here are more than one hundred fairy tales, illustrated and re-imagined for today. Instead of fairy godmothers, there’s Siri. And rather than big bad wolves, there are creepy dudes on OkCupid. In our brave new world of social networking, YouTube, and texting, fairy tales can once again lead us to “happily ever after” — and have us laughing all the way.

Quotes

one

“Alice drank her tea and scanned the news online. Even she had begun to begun to believe that what she’d ‘seen’ down the rabbit hole was just a figment of her imagination. She’d since majored in neuroscience; the human brain was fascinating!”

two

“Little Red Riding Hood decided to walk home from her grandmother’s house because she didn’t want to waste money on a cab.
But soon she was being stalked by a creepy wolf. He cornered her in the entryway to her apartment and started unzipping his pants, but then she was like ‘Oh hell no,’ and kneed him in the balls and shot him in the face with pepper spray.
The next day she borrowed money from her mother and moved to a safer neighborhood.”

three

“Aladdin had really screwed things up with Jasmine this time. Even the Genie thought he’d acted like ‘a total dickhead.’
After what felt like 1,001 nights, he decided to win her back, to show her how he’d grown up, that now he was the man she’d always wanted him to be. He wanted to show her how brave he was, how he wasn’t scared of his emotions anymore, how he could even, one day, be a father to their children.
So he texted her, ‘hey, what’s up?'”

four

“Snow White didn’t like Mondays, so she sang a song to get her through: ‘Just whistle while you work, and cheerfully together we can–’ Oh my God, how have only two minutes gone by? Somebody kill me now. I want to die.”

five

“The Emperor got a new fedora, but his friends just thought it made him look like a tool”

six

“Beauty and the Beast got into a small discussion about the Beast’s diet.
‘I don’t want to go on a juice cleanse,’ he said. ‘It makes me feel like I don’t have teeth.’
‘It’s healthy,’ she said.
‘Why can’t I just eat the bacon-wrapped bacon I invented?’
Beauty frowned.
‘You’re trying to change me,’ he said. ‘You’re trying to make both of us people we aren’t.’
‘I’m just trying to make us better,’ she said.
The Beast was a delicate flower at heart, so this hit him pretty hard. Why is who we are not enough?”

THE END

This book also features Rapunzel, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, The Little Mermaid, Mulan, Peter Pan, and appearances from other well-known fairytale creatures.

You definitely need to get your hands on this book. It’s hilarious and endearing. Plus, it’s illustrated!

Get your copy from Book Depository here for $16.44.

Read my full review here.

Also, I just have to say that I posted this photo on Instagram and Manley liked and commented on it! So, that was super cool.

Up Tomorrow: It’s a Surprise! (meaning I don’t exactly know yet…)

Other Links to reach me at: Instagrambooklrnon-book Tumblr.,Goodreads,Twitter.
Follow me on Snapchat: smashleyyy92.

Happy Reading!

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One thought on “Ashley Quotes Things – Alice in Tumblr-Land by Tim Manley

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